Dating God's Way

I made a decision about 12 years ago to start living a more holy lifestyle. Afterall, the lifestyle that I was living didn't get me what I wanted and I wasn't really focused or concerned about marriage for a long time. At that time, I was still in television and trying to figure out the best route to get to a larger market. Afterall, I had planned to be a television reporter since 9th grade and I was well on my way until life got interrupted.

I decided that sex before marriage was no longer for me. It's not that I don't like sex but I just felt a higher calling to live more holy and the condemnation that came with having sex was just not worth it. I kept feeling that I had missed the mark. And then to top it off, sometimes you would deal with someone who was so trifling that you had to basically threaten him just to use a condom. Go figure.

It wasn't the smoothest of transitions and being celibate usually works best when you date someone who has made God their top priority and understands and doesn't feel that you're playing a game.

Now, I know what you're thinking. She is off her rocker and she doesn't have any offers for dates. That is not true. It never has been and I doubt if it ever will be a problem to get dates. Besides sex, I have a lot to offer a man. I have good conversation, common sense, goals, standards and other things. I have always had plenty of men friends. I've even had a marriage proposal out of the blue from someone who I wasn't even dating ,but just talked to him about my boyfriends and what not and most men know a good thing when they see one.

I just feel that we are too close to the rapture and I refused to get left behind over some foolishness. Since I have been celibate, I have been able to work with more energy and purpose. I don't feel that I am being dragged down or anything. I also feel that I am anointed to help the man who will be my husband with the things God has birthed in him. Granted I don't know if I have met Mr. Right or not. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings so I am not going to call names or make declarations, but I do feel that I am a better person and I am capable of helping the man in my life, whoever that is, to be the best that he can be.

Most importantly, I know that I am pleasing God. I feel that I can get my prayers answered more quickly and I have more faith because I am not beating myself up because of sex before marriage. A good girlfriend of mine told me years ago to stop just giving it away. She was previously married and eventually married again and is very happy. She told me "Men just lose their minds" when you sleep with them. She didn't call men and didn't return their calls. They just had to catch her when she was in. Now, I have found out that some women have wrote a book that basically wraps up what my girlfriend was telling me.

Now, if you are not ready to be celibate don't quit your boyfriend. I am not trying to promote promiscuity. I do believe that you can connect with your man on many different levels when sex is out of the picture or in this day and age delayed, but you two need to be on the same page.

I just feel that when you do things God's way, He will move heaven and earth for you. You can ask Him to help you and He will ,but I must warn you, He will not bless the mess. My book "Glory...the Hair" details different relationships. You will see the hairdresser Shelia who waits until marriage to have sex. On the other hand, Jennifer is in a regular relationship with plenty of sex. You'll have to read the book to see who gets the ring first.